Why We Don’t ‘Fix’ People: A Strength-Based Approach to Disability Support”
At Living Dreams Disability Services, we’re often asked questions like:
“How can we fix this behaviour?”
“Will therapy make it go away?”
We understand where these questions come from. When you love someone, you want them to thrive. You want things to feel easier, smoother, more manageable. But here’s something we gently emphasise in our work: our role isn’t to fix people. It’s to support them in becoming more confident, empowered, and comfortable with who they are.
That’s where a strength-based approach comes in.
What Is a Strength-Based Approach?
A strength-based approach focuses on a person’s abilities, interests, values, and potential. It doesn’t ignore difficulties, but it shifts the starting point. Rather than looking at what someone can’t do, we begin with what they can do and build from there.
We ask questions like:
What are they naturally drawn to?
When do they feel most calm, focused, or proud?
What has helped in the past?
What relationships or routines bring out their best?
This mindset allows us to tailor support in a way that feels collaborative, respectful, and sustainable.
The Problem with “Fixing” Language
When we talk about fixing someone, even unintentionally, it sends a message that they are broken or not enough. For children, this can lead to shame, masking, and the belief that their authentic self is unacceptable. For adults, it can lead to burnout, anxiety, and a lifetime of trying to fit into boxes that were never meant for them.
In contrast, when we focus on strengths, people feel safer to be themselves and growth becomes possible in a much more meaningful way.
Strength Doesn’t Mean Ignoring Challenges
Working from strengths doesn’t mean pretending there are no difficulties. It means approaching challenges with curiosity and compassion. It also means building strategies that honour how someone naturally learns, communicates, and regulates.
Instead of forcing someone to “fit in,” we ask:
How can we adapt the environment?
How can we make this task more accessible?
What are some ways to honour their unique needs while building important skills?
What This Looks Like in Practice
A child who struggles with transitions might also thrive with visual routines and predictability, we use that strength to support flexibility over time.
A teenager who finds social situations overwhelming might also be incredibly expressive through writing or art, we can use those tools to help process emotions and build confidence.
An adult with high support needs may still have a strong sense of agency and insight into what works for them, we include them in goal-setting and decision-making wherever possible.
We don’t ignore the hard stuff. But we approach it in a way that centres the individual and what they bring to the table.
Why This Matters
When services focus only on deficits, people often feel discouraged and defined by what they can’t do. But when we take a strength-based approach, we see individuals gaining confidence, parents feeling more hopeful, and support workers feeling clearer about how to make a meaningful difference.
It also helps shift society’s narrative, away from “how do we make people normal?” to “how do we support people to live full, rich lives as they are?”
Final Thoughts
At Living Dreams, we don’t believe in fixing people. We believe in listening, adapting, advocating, and celebrating. We see every individual as more than a diagnosis, more than a checklist of behaviours, more than a goal on a plan.
We see potential. We see resilience. And we see the power that comes from meeting people where they are, with respect, compassion, and a belief in their strengths.